1) The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette. 2) I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me! 3) Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. 4) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. 5) BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore. 6) So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute! 7) Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. 8) Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. 9) I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing. 10) Earth first...we'll mine the other planets later. 11) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. 12) As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools. 13) I don't have to be dead to donate my organ. 14) God must loved stupid people 'cause he made so many of them. 15) The gene pool could use a little chlorine. 16) Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 17) I took an IQ test and the results were negative. 18) It's lonely at the top, but you eat better. 19) I know what you're thinking, and you should
be ashamed of 20) A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste. 21) Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. 22) Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes. 23) Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. 24) Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? 25) Finish Your Beer ~ There Are Sober People In China! 26) Jesus Loves You ~ Everyone Else Thinks You're a Jerk |
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